I'm rarely a pessimist, sometimes an optimist, but most of the time I'm just a realist and the reality of everything is that this pregnancy has not been the easiest thing I've ever done! I have always actually been a real optimist about all this stuff saying: "just keep positive, happy thoughts and your endorphines will help your body feel better when your sick"....etc. Well I wish that was the case but I am to the point now (21 weeks along) where I think I just have to live with feeling sick and I just have to shove food down my throat even though I want to regurgitate it that second! (I'm feeling much better than I used to, but still not good!) I know it's a bit more difficult now cause I don't have the cute one in my arms, but once I do I'm sure it will be so wonderful....and so worth it.... but everyone seems to be so pessimistic!
"Just wait" seems to be the famous phrase to tell people when they want you to know that you have something bad, or not fun coming up.
It's like people just always want to tell me "just wait" to make me feel bad! Who want's anyone to feel BAD??? But they do!
It's like I say.... "I'm actually feeling pretty good right now".... "Oh you just wait...you'll feel sick eventually, most people do! And some people stay sick their whole pregnancy!" (yes, actually said to me!)
People will say, oh my you are so small and thin still.... "Oh just wait... you'll get big soon enough! I knew someone just as small as you and she gained over 50 pounds. She was miserable!" (Actually I've heard this one, and worse, about 15 times!) Why can't they just say "Oh I can't wait til you start showing, you are going to look so cute with a belly!" From what I hear from people who have been pregnant, that's exactly what they need to hear to boost their self esteem in a time when they don't feel cute, or have to adjust to a body which they never really thought through the reality of!
Or when people ask if I'm sleeping okay and I say yes they'll say "Oh just wait, later in your pregnancy you won't.... and then especially when the baby gets here, just plan on no sleep for the rest of your life!" Matt and I stay up late and then I sleep in, which I know will change with a baby and I'm fine with that! But people are so quick to be like... "you just wait, you'll be in hell with all of us soon." (Of course I'm paraphrasing, and possibly exaggerating but it's what I feel like)
It's not like we didn't know these things people! We knew what we were getting ourselves into.... we got off all birth control for heavens sakes! These things are not surprises. Gaining weight is a given, getting sick is something that I knew was likely, no sleep...duh (I've never actually been a fan of sleep anyways). People are just so negative sometimes and I'm sick of it.
Other people knew what they were getting theirselves into as well so STOP COMPLAINING! It's fine to say... "I'm really tired lately, I've had no sleep cause of my baby"; or "my kid has been a real rascal lately and sometimes I just want to scream", these are realities and I'm sure every parent has felt and said these things, but don't hope and anticipate and claim to every pregnant woman that she'll hate being a mom because of these things.... and ultimately saying (at least what it seems to me) "You made the wrong decision! You should have never had kids! There is nothing good about it!" I've heard people say... the ONLY good thing about having children is that eventually you get to be a grandparent! Well you know what, tell me that about 25 years from now.... but right now I want to be excited about becoming a parent!!! And who knows, I might actually like it better than being a grandparent (my mom says she does)!
Here's the point! There are definitely hard things about everything...work, family, health, money...etc. Life is not ALL fun and pure bliss, but it should still be mostly fun and still mostly blissful, amidst all the crazy stuff!
I just want to hear about people that actually love being a parent and actually love their kids. It seems like nobody does anymore.
Why do you think I said when I got married "Give me a year and we'll have kids." and now 4 years later we're just starting a family! It's cause it never sounded fun! People don't make it sound like something that's wonderful and rewarding. Motherhood, parenthood in general, doesn't seem as cherished as it once was, and as it should!
I love my mom, and I hope she feels like she got all that she wanted out of being a parent and I hope she feels that she accomplished her goals of being the best mother she could. She has 8 kids that love her and can and DO go to her with ANYTHING! Now I'd say that's success! And not only that but I'd say we had a heck of a lot of fun a long the way! I can't picture a happier family or fun-loving family! That doesn't mean my mom got lots of sleep or didn't want to scream cause we made her crazy! It means that amidst everything, we had a BLAST!
So I'm not gonna "just wait." I'm going to live in the moment and enjoy it with any hardship that comes along in that moment.
I hope I never have such negative things to say about my kids... so much to the point that people think I hate being a mother! I love life, even though I do actually think I hate food :). I still have a good time every day! I laugh just as much as I did when I wasn't sick, and I share such good company, especially my husband, and I have a little growing one in my belly that makes me so happy!
All in all, I think I'm pretty darn blessed! And I am so excited to have something so wonderful to wake up to in the middle of the night! I can't wait, but until then I'm gonna enjoy the little kicks, hits, and turns that reminds me that our little girl is getting ready to come into this world! Yay for children, for motherhood/parenthood, and yay for the miracle and blessing of life!!!
7 comments:
Being a Mom is the BEST thing in the world. You are going to be a great Mom and it will be fun. The point that you are at now is fun. All the anticipation... so exciting! You have a great attitude. I love you tons!
Well said...and vent you should. I can't believe people and their up-side-down attitudes. That is why there are so many depressed people in the world...because they can't stand to see other people happy, lift others and in the process enhance their own joys. Instead, they so easily squash other peoples joy and excitement.
You have a great attitude and are such a cute soon to be Mom. I way your bowling (if you can call it that out there) pictures and can see your little belly growing. It's cute and a was a crazy realization for me to see that. You will be an amazing Mom, great parents, and be exactly the opposite of what so many others complain about.
Although not children related, people say the same negative things about marriage but honestly it is the best thing ever and I would never go back. Life if good and I wish others would approach their lives and relationships the same way. Great post! Love you Shauna
Amen! I'm so glad that you are anxiously anticipating this little one, that you are realistic about expectations, and that you are still positive and hopeful through it all. I love it that you will be the one to say, "how fun! You will love being a mother!" or "I'm so excited for you; it's worth it". People need people like you.
Good for you! Vent on! I agree, people complain too much and try and fill your head with their negativity. Don't let it happen. I'm excited for you two! Congrats!
ps. I don't know if you are "invited" to my blog. send your email to Casschristensen@hotmail.com if you want to be.
You are going to be such a good Mom! I can't wait! People told me the exact same things! the hardest thing anyone told me was when she was already born and people would tell me that I would forget how little they are and how sweet they are. I have spent nights crying with her in my arms because that is such a sad thought. Also every night when she wakes up crying it makes me so happy because I get to hold her and be with her more. The hardest thing for me about being a mom is not that I know she is going to be like me and will be as stubborn as crap or be a needlessly disobedient like me but that I know one day she will feel pain but I just hope that I can show her enough love that will out weigh the pain. Mom and Dad are such great examples for us and I wish i could just be exactly like Mom. Again, You are going to be a great mom and Matt is going to be a great Dad! I have some advise for you "Just wait" all your pregnancy good and bad in 19 weeks you will have the most amazing beautiful little girl that you can cuddle all you want! I love you Sis!
Shaunna oh my gosh, I heard things like that from strangers too. One lady at the movies actually told me very matter of factly that I was going to have a boy when i was like 36 weeks along, even though my daughter was VERY cooperative in the ultrasounds. It finally ended with me saying "ya it WOULD be 'interesting' if my baby had a vulva AND penis" Oh MAN you should have seen her face! Keep your positive attitude and let other peoples negativity ruin their own day. Don't "just wait" for anything (but I already knwo you wouldn't). Cherish your pregnancy cuz it's over before you know it. Then you'll have the most amazing thing growing right before your eyes. It's truely incredible watching them learn. When they smile at you, or realize they can control their hand, or that first giggle. I never used to cry before but I'm such a baby now lol everything just melts my heart. And forget about the sleepless nights thing. There will always be good days and bad but I really think woman are hardwired to be able to deal with it. Ask for help when ya need it so you have time to adjust to the new lifestyle and you'll be fine. I had Chelsi (Cravin) take my maternity pictures and LOVE LOVE LOVE that we did. It's amazing to watch that belly grow. I never really appreciated it until I experienced it but now when I see super cute big belly I can't help but get excited for whoever it is. And I know you are going to be SO BEAUTIFUL with a 9 month old girl getting ready to meet her parents. I love the cute little pooch you've got in the "bowling" pictures btw. It makes me excited to see you grow (so you better post pictures!)
And I just have to interject one thing, idk what you plan on doing for your labor but if you have any ambition to go natural, DO IT, and ignore what people say, if I could relive that day one more time I would do it in a heartbeat just so I could truely appreciate all that was happening. And if you plan on getting the epidural DO IT. It's your birthing so don't let anyone make you feel bad about any of your decisions! Which ever way you go, it will be The Most Amazing Experience so bring your camera(even if the pictures are just for you and Matt you'll be so glad you have them)
THANKS EVERYONE for your supporting comments :) I really appreciate it! I usually don't vent much, especially on the internet but I just sat down and started writing and it all just came out! :) You'll never believe that the very next day a lady told me that once I have this baby, the only thing I'll be able to think for at least a year and a half is "what was I thinking?" I just had to chuckle and say, "I sure hope not!" I'm over what people say but thank you for the love in these comments! I'm sending my love right back at you! Thanks again!
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